True Form
by Kiba Wolf
Summary: Sebastian reflects on some serious news, without realizing that he would have to confront it before the night was through. Reflective one-shot, K  for slightly unusual love.


_**True Form**_

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><p>Sebastian Michaelis sat perched on the windowsill of the third story, watching the wind blow through the tree tops and the stars twinkle and sparkle off in the far, far distance. Something about the night made him, oddly, thankful. Thankful, mostly, to the boy.<p>

Ciel.

Sebastian could roam the earth endlessly, if he so chose. He could wreak havoc and mayhem, kill innocent people, cause the extinction of mankind, in effect. If he really wanted to, it would be the simplest task in all the world. Surely easier than waking a boy every morning and fetching him his morning tea.

Honestly, if you were a demon, which would you partake in? The destruction of mankind or serving a more-than-on-occasion rude child?

The answer, to Sebastian, even now, was obvious.

So what brought him to this peaceful countenance? What kept him gazing out at the wide world instead of frolicking in it? His contract, obviously. Was a boy's soul worth such restrictions to his freedom though? Well, serving him could be a bit of fun, that much was certain, and his soul _would _be delicious, if Sebastian ever obtained it.

Would be.

Could be.

Won't be.

Sebastian closed his eyes, chest tightening as his nonexistent heart lurched, or at least he assumed it was nonexistent.

Ciel's soul was his and his alone. Sebastian couldn't—maybe now he realized wouldn't—take it. The news had come to him just last week.

An informant of his revealed that there had been an accident, and no one was sure who was to blame for it or how it had happened. Whatever the cause, Ciel would never get his revenge. He would never complete his tasks here on this earth.

Meaning, of course, Sebastian was presented with an option.

As a truthful citizen, he should inform Ciel that his hunt to complete his "tasks" was a waste of time. He should tell him that the contract was void because of it. He should, at the very least, act like the demon he is and disappear without a word. Leave Ciel to figure out what had happened the next time he looked into his own eyes.

So why hadn't the butler left yet? Why did he continue to serve a boy he no longer had any obligation to? His gaze returned to the stars. Ah, if only they could answer all the questions the world ever asked them.

Sebastian rested his forehead on his knee, one leg dangling off the ledge. He had been around long enough that he knew the reason why. A demon he may be, but he still came from something once human or at least human-like. Even the shinigami couldn't deny some human connections. They were all connected back to the very origin of it all.

The worst thing wasn't even in knowing. It wasn't in the weird looks Grell sometimes gave them or the whispers of the other housemates (not that any of them did so cruelly or even rudely, more like stating a well-known fact). It had nothing to do with the implications. The age, the society rank difference, none of it made the least bit of difference. The gender…

Ah, Gender.

If it had been another time, possibly a future time, then "Sebastian" could have come to Ciel truly. He could have come in his true form, without fear, but in this day and age something like that would be unheard of. Men worked as butlers. Men directly served their masters. Men could fight. Men could use sexual dominance to their advantage, even if he were only a lowly servant.

No, it wasn't that Sebastian would mind loving him in this male form—who knows, the boy may even find himself inclined to admit he likes it—but it wouldn't be truthful.

The wind tugged at his hair, making him recall the options before him. He could leave Ciel, surely the boy would understand the voiding of the contract, even if he didn't believe the information—or couldn't believe the information. He could continue to serve Ciel until his death, and then he could go and look for a new soul, albeit likely not a better one. Since the contract was in fact broken, he could forcibly take Ciel's vulnerable soul.

But he couldn't bring himself to do it. Night after night he stood above the boy, fangs bared, ready to complete the deed. After all, wouldn't it be best for Sebastian to end both their suffering? He could keep Ciel, in some form, always with him, and Ciel could escape the harshness of this world. A harshness he didn't deserve to face.

Yet, it went on: night after night, he could not kill the boy.

There was, of course, another option. He could reveal his true form to Ciel, although it would forever change the boy's perception of his butler. Maybe after he saw it, he wouldn't want Sebastian around anymore. After Sebastian showed him his true form and revealed that the contract was no more, maybe Ciel would demand he immediately remove his presence from the manor.

That thought haunted Sebastian daily, yet every day he knew they grew only closer to discovering the truth together. And then what would happen when Ciel found out that Sebastian had known for such a long time? Because he would eventually find out; it likely wouldn't even take a full day or hour. A minute, perhaps, before Ciel realized that his "task" being impossible, meant that his contract held no weight.

A matter of minutes before he demanded answers from Sebastian, so wouldn't it be better for the demon to be upfront with him now?

An upfront, honest demon. Hah. Only such a foolish, such a _human_ emotion could make it so.

Sebastian heaved a sigh, figuring it best to put it all off for one more night. Perhaps something would come to him overnight, even though he knew it wouldn't. He swung his legs inside the room, turning around only to find Ciel standing in front of the closed doors on the opposite end of the room.

"Master, what are you doing up and about at such an hour?" Sebastian asked, hiding anything beyond appropriate surprise. Something was off about the boy.

"Master?" he echoed, his voice a monotone.

"That's how I typically refer to you, yes," Sebastian answered, uncertainty clouding his mind. What had gotten into Ciel? Was he possessed, perhaps?

"Why do you refer to me like that?" the boy demanded, gazing evenly at the demon.

Sebastian let out a sight and approached the boy, stating, "Because it's how a butler refers to the one he serves and how a demon refers to his contractual partner." He paused in front of the boy. "Now what's gotten into you, _Master_?"

"You're not my butler," Ciel accused. Sebastian could only stare at the boy, bewildered. Then he finally noticed what had seemed off about the boy earlier. He wasn't wearing an eye patch. "And you're not my demon," he finished.

Sebastian's throat constricted, unsure of what to say as the boy looked back at him with two matching eyes.

"How long has it been like this?" the boy demanded. "And why didn't you inform me when it occurred?"

"I do believe you just said I no longer have any obligation to you," Sebastian replied smartly, hoping to avoid this conversation at all costs.

"I'm not demanding it as your master," Ciel corrected. He looked away in obvious embarrassment. "I'm asking you as a _friend_ why you didn't tell me when it happened."

"You honestly believe a demon to be your friend?" Sebastian mocked lightly, although there was no real feeling behind it.

"I believe that you've served me long enough that even a 'demon' would retain some sort of emotion," Ciel explained. "You're avoiding the question." The boy crossed his arms over his chest and waited patiently, ignoring the fact that it would be nearly impossible for him to look intimidating at his height.

And really, at this point, what did Sebastian have to lose? As one of his favorite sayings went, the cat was out of the bag now.

"Two weeks today," he answered quietly, eyes never breaking contact. "And I wasn't sure how to go about informing you."

"Don't feed me that," Ciel snapped, dropping his bunched up fists to his side. "You could've killed me, I'm sure, or you could've left. You didn't though. You stayed here, so you either intended to tell me at some point or you're waiting for something."

"Do you think me such a greedy creature?" Sebastian asked lightly, downplaying the boy's temper.

"Yes, I do, in fact," he answered, not missing a beat. "Now tell me why."

Sebastian closed his eyes. Time to make a choice. Did he tell the boy that he had intended to continue to serve him, possibly telling him later on that his task was unmanageable, but even that would elicit more questions from the boy. Why would a demon stay and serve him, with no obligation or reward?

Inevitably, Sebastian knew what it had to come down to.

Taking a deep breath he answered at last, "Ciel." Hearing his name from the man surprised the boy, causing a slight look of confusion to cross his features, uncertainty at how to react playing through his mind. "I did in fact stay here with the intention of staying here until your death."

"Would you take my soul after I died naturally then?" the young Earl questioned, a steadier look coming back to his features.

"No, of course not," Sebastian whispered.

"You're saying you would serve me to the end, with no benefits, just to serve me?" Ciel asked, clearly not convinced. "Just like that?"

Sebastian clenched his teeth, frustration starting to overtake his typically calm demeanor. "No. Not at all," he explained. "As you said, serving you after all this time has not left me without some sort of emotion."

"Friendship does not equal servitude," Ciel replied icily.

"Friendship would not, no," Sebastian agreed readily. "Love might though."

Ciel could do nothing more than look taken aback by this. How else was he supposed to react? There were no responses for this kind of thing, not that the Earl had ever learned.

"S-Sebastian!" he cried. "This is no time for jokes!"

The butler took a step towards the boy and placed a hand on his shoulder. "It's no joke, Master." He felt the boy tremble beneath his hand, and added the final nail to his own coffin. "I think it's time I showed you my true form. It might explain... a lot."

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><p><strong>AN: **_A couple of notes about this: first, this is as close as I come to writing yaoi, ha ha. Second, this actually reflects an actual experience, believe it or not. Third, yes this came about because of that high-heeled boot we see on Sebastian's true form. The rest is for you to ponder, and I would love to hear your thoughts on it through a lovely little review. All right, write on!_


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